God told me to pursue photography years and years ago and I did not listen. Almost 2 years ago I decided to obey. Around the same time my chronic dry eye was diagnosed. I have been struggling with learning how to do this whole photography job thing and handle my eye pain. For a long time I was so excited about doing photos that I would edit immediately and have them back in clients hands in a week time. I have figured out that is not healthy for my stress level as well as my eyes. I have decided to be a bit more realistic with my timing and scheduling. I also am choosing to be more picky about the situations and settings I will photograph. I will not longer be pursuing photography to be a part or full time career for me. I will be doing just a little on the side as long as my eyes can deal with it.
I love taking photos; Always have and always will. The more I seek God during this struggle I have had, the more I have felt that this was more and more about me trusting God. Its been cool to pursue a passion of mine, but I really think this experience didn't even have anything to do with photos. It was about me obeying and trusting in the Lord. And I praise Him for showing me this truth!
Soooo...
I am still here
I'm still photographing
Just less :)
I actually have a pretty full fall.
I start off with my last wedding on Saturday! I guess because its my last wedding I am not really nervous. I am just excited!! If God heals my eyes, as my 5 year old is asking Him to, I might pick weddings back up in the future. But for now the amount of editing that weddings create, I just can't do them anymore. But I plan on going out with a bang! Its going to be at Heritage Farm!! I can't wait!
Soon to follow after the wedding are some sweet kiddos and a family shoot. :)
Thanks for hanging on to read all of this. I actually only visit other blogs to look at pictures, I don't like reading them much. But all of this needed to be said. :)
Any prayers to the Lord about my condition would be really appreciated. I'll be back in a few weeks!!
Oh hun. I'm sorry you're going through this. I also pray that God would heal you of this problem so that you can pursue what your heart desires. You are such a great photographer.
ReplyDeleteI have dry eye syndrome, too so I have to keep rewetting my eyes while I'm sewing, reading, driving (and being in Hawaii is torture 'cause the winds never settle down. I can only wear my contacts a tiny bit during the day and even when I take them out, my eyes really hurt. When I wake up in the morning, they are super sore and covered in junk from not being wet enough ( I guess ). My eye Dr wants to take away my contacts for good but I'm not ready just yet....we'll see if the condition persists or not.
I feel so badly that there's not more they can do for you. What all have you tried ? (only 'cause I'm curious, I'm not trying to give you suggestions).
Love you hun!
Hey deb.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your words. Honestly, I really am ok with it all. The harder part to deal with is that we can't have anymore kids because I can't get off the medicine. But God is sovereign and I trust Him...so its all good. :)
First of all, with the wind being bad you might want to get some huge honking sunglasses. My dr. had me try to get some motorcycle sunglasses to prevent wind from reaching my eyes. (my perscription is so bad that they dont make them that strong.) but I got some huge yet fashionable ones that help some ;)
Basically my advice to you is to figure out what kind of dry eye you have. There are different causes. Inflammation of the eyelid, not make enough tears, the tears you make are not good quality, or just irritation from contacts. I haven't been able to wear contacts since college, but I never thought anything of it. but after I stopped nursing Nomes I couldn't open my eyes in the a.m. My eyelids were stuck to my eyeballs b/c my cornea was being torn from the dryness :( Over the counter drops and such don't help me at all. I have tried them all! The only one that helps for a few mins is Genteal gel. It kind of dries over my tear ducts and plugs them up even more. All the drugs I have tried (restasis, antiinflammatory drugs, Azasite, natural remedies, etc) have helped enough to heal my corneas but not helped with the discomfort. I had my tear ducts plugged and that didn't help. Actually my tear ducts are XL and it was hard to plug them. that might be part of my problem, that my eyes drain too much tears. I have had 3 seperate Dr.s check me out and their advice to me is to go to Cleveland Clinic because they dont know what else to do for me. We can't afford that. I have been tested to see if I have an autoimmune diesease, but so far I don't. Praise Him! So, I just try to make due for now. Don't spend more than a few mins staring at screens or reading with out taking a break. Do wet warm compresses. I put ointment in my eyes at night and then tape them shut, basically a bandaid to try to heal the damage I have done that day. Somedays are worse than others. I would encourage you to stop wearing your contacts and see how you feel. you really don't want to mess with your cornea. Its not worth it.
I stopped wearing my contacts for a month and it didn't help. My eyes are super dry in the mornings but I can usually stand under the sink and rinse my face to get all the goop out ( I also have allergies ). My eyes aren't nearly as severe as yours. I'm so sorry it's been so awful. I have torn my cornea off twice so I KNOW how badly that hurts. It's the worst pain I've ever felt. My Dr says I don't make enough tears. While I'm sitting for exams, they always tell me to keep blinking because my eyes are too dry to examine. Over time, it's getting worse, so in December, I'll have them take a much deeper look at what's going on. Rewetting drops don't work for me either. It's almost as if the rewetting drops wash away what tears were there in the first place. I will pray that you can get the help you need. I'm sorry you can't have more children because of the need for the medicine. I'm sure that's disheartening. I love you hun and I just want God to heal you of this (especially so you can keep the vision you have).
ReplyDeleteSending many HUGS!!!!
Also, maybe someday I'll get lasik and be done with contacts for good.
ReplyDelete